Today’s episode of radio station WJFK’s talk radio show “The Don & Mike Show” claimed that this year’s Emmy Awards contained the word “tit” spoken repeatedly.
Intrigued, I discovered the phrase was initially uttered by Helen Mirren, a grandmotherly lady who was being awarded for her leading role in HBO’s “Elizabeth I,” whose acception speech began:
“My greatest triumph is not falling ass over tit as I came up those stairs.”
Supposedly the tit was out after that, with several others referencing matronly Mirren’s humor.
Mirren once took part in another racy tid-bit, the first (and possibly the last) high-budget porn with a plot: Caligula.
Produced by “Penthouse” more than 25 years ago, there seems to be some dissention between viewers as to whether the film is of the soft or hard-core genres. It was definitely supposed to be an adult-grade historical drama; but whether or not it was complete crap also remains contested. Perhaps these bits of confusion is what kept Mirren from a “Leading Actress” award at the time.
Mirren was even one of the actors, and there were many active extras in those orgy scenes, who does not appear to have disowned the film before its release.
Mirren’s leading role in “Caligula,” though there were many leading-coming-going-bending-heaving-licking-and-moaning female roles, was that of Milonia Caesonia. Caesonia was Emperor Caligula’s wife who rose to the title of Roman Empress through the ranks of prostitutes.
True story. And a good one at that.
So as the sparkle of Emmy night fades, let us lift our glasses one more time to Mirren and thank her.
She certainly gives her audience a royal treatment.
T.C. Loveless, you furry British Isle Bad Boy, you are loved.
You and your favorite position (”Anyone please”). You complete the sentence “I lost my virginity . . .” with “It’s true.”
You are 35 and lusciously lyrical in a trans-Atlantic way.
You are loved by gals like Lady Turquoise who is aware of how her short bangs frame her pale face and how turquoise feathers bring out the green in her eyes.
You are loved by Mary whose quirky smile masks her limber poses.
I feel love as well.
These are some of the members of Suicide Girls. A site dedicated to the ideal of a “vibrant, sex positive community of women (and men) . . . founded on the belief that creativity, personality and intelligence are not incompatible . . .”
After feeling a part of this welcoming community I caught sight of their interview with Werner Herzog. He is the cinematic genius behind the cult-ish hit “Grizzly Man,” a documentary on a man who tried to live as one with the Grizzly Bear and gets eaten. This is one of my favorite movies (granted that I find it hysterical, but we’ve all got our issues).
Then there is an interview with Jack White of the White Stripes that “Makes me feel a little older / Like a full grown woman might.”
Being a fully-grown woman that White Stripes quote doesn’t ring true. The fact that a cute 21-year old co-worker of mine was surprised that I’d been recently ID-ed, well that reality adds to the bluesy joy of the White Stripes.
Another full-grown woman is Dita Von Teese. Recently she has been acclaimed as the fiance of Marilyn Manson, but she was a burlesque artist and a fetish model before that . . .
“That you were once unkind befriends me now”
Is the poetic beginning of Suicide Girl Manda’s personal blog. There are a lot of personal blogs. I know I caught a comedic glimpse of Toxic Boy, or some name like that, who was a late 30-ish with a sense of humor.
So the Suicide people are dedicated to “the belief that creativity, personality and intelligence are not incompatible” are real. Sop real that they have albums and activities.
The albums are where old friends Like Vag and Cunt cum out to play, the activities vary from town to town.
So the real point is not the reality of the Suicide community, but how alive it reminds you that you are.
Passion.com (”Sexy personals for passionate people”) brags of 174,479 new photos this week, 23,929,549 active members, and 81,887 members currently online. The numbers will fluctuate, and I have to admit I didn’t count, but even if they were off by hundreds these would still be impressive numbers.
The numbers of options offered are impressive as well. When I clicked on the “Join for Free” button I linked into what could be a kinky all-you-can-eat buffet. The subcategories include “I am/We are” (male, female, group, etc.) and “Interested in Meeting” (Man, woman, couple [male, male], couple [female, female], group, etc.).
With all of these enticing options, it was a bit hard to decide, but I chose the group selections. I mean, the point of all-you-can-eat is to stuff yourself . . .
Of course it is lady-like to subtly stuff-yourself. After selecting “group on group” as my entree of choice, I opt for “prefer not to say” as a descriptor for personal details such as “marital status” to “education.” Perhaps I could play Master Chef, or Naughty Waitress . . .
Tastier are the “writing ideas” Passion.com offers for the required fields of “Tell others about yourself” and “Describe what you are looking for in a partner.” They suggest sexual conversation aperitifs like:
“In the bedroom, I tend to like (traditional, straight forward/kinky, experimental/other) sex. Some of my favorite positions are…”
“Extramarital affairs (add excitement to a relationship/do not interest me).”
Fill in the blanks as you like, and fill yourself up with who/what you like.
I’m backing out about here. Wolf, the guy I shack-up with, would probably consider “group on group” him with four other girls and me with the video cameras. I get a little jealous after three . . .
So it’s a Monday, and to cheer myself up from my weekday cubicle existence, I go shopping for porn and pleasure products.
As I’m scanning I see an add for male dolls, as in “Blow-up dolls” of men, and not the kind you blow to get hard and take advantage of, yet somewhat the same . . .
Anyway, I stumble upon the Vibro Male Black Doll. Booble is seeking customers to give it a test run. I’m not opposed to the idea, but “Vibro” does sound like the name of a great gay guy pal who s sexy despite his gayness. The “realistic vibrating penis” sounds a bit fishy. Since when do penises naturally vibrate? How embarrassing would it be for a guy to get that boner in middle-school gym class?
